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WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption
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Name: A.....
Birthday: 9/7/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: I am old school in music, clothes, even make up and I don't care what ya think. Because you don't have the courage to be yourself so you pick on someone else. A drive and ambition for creatures who can't speak of the injustice inflicted upon them.Finding beauty in ugly..............Politics are a topic when conversing with me.Legal Residents are my friends.And I constantly BORROW lyrics from artists to prove a point, but everyone on Xanga is a kid, so you wouldn't know what I was talking about anyway.
Expertise: What am I good at?
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/6/2008
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| I signed up for this modeling agency, not because I think I'm pretty, but because I think I am somewhat interesting looking. But my Dad had his man period again and kicked me out. I had to use some of my money to call my Grandmother. I could have had enough bus fare money to make it in time for evaluation. But no. I had to stretch three dollars for three buses. But some ugly, fat, short, wobbly, hood-rat of a police office busted me for riding the train w/out paying. Now, her cool, black sidekick allowed people to go purchase tickets if they didn't have them. But this bitch writes me up for $75. I thought it would be three hundred like the caveat read, but ok. I understand, they need to make their money. I missed my appointment because I didn't have enough money for bus fare. I don't have any money to eat. I'm starving right now sitting in McDonalds while these ghetto people argue about money and women. It might escalate to a violent situation. I was ejected off a train because the train was involved in some kind of accident. I don't know how I am going to get home. I am still not sure what happened. And if I do make it back to the bus station, I have to prepare myself for a two-four hour walk because I don't have money to get home. I hate my life. I had to drop out of college because I can't afford the tuition and I can't find a job. I lack the required cellphone for communication. My Dad could make my life easier if he wasn't such an effeminate prick. Last Tuesday, he threatened to cut my hair off. And he actually cut a junk from the top, but it's unnoticeable. Lucky me. But, I did file a police report and it is on file. I haven't told him the good news. I told my Grandmother what he has been doing and she instantly denied it. He has sociopath tendencies. But I think she is in Denail about her own kids. Her daughter has had numerous partners and her son has a speech impediment. Now, I did shed tears because I missed my appointment. Now, I can't do that and I can't go to college. What can I do? I feel like I have no purpose in life. I feel like I will never amount to anything. I feel like I keep making an effort and nothing. Maybe I should just stop trying. I am never going to escape this man. I am never going to get away from this dump house. I feel like I am cursed. I wish my father wasn't my father. He's such a deadbeat. All he talks about how he tows luxury cars. I tell him: Wouldn't you rather own one of those cars instead of towing them? "Aren't you tired of working deadend jobs?" God, Long Beach is ghetto. Do you have to be so loud and does every other word have to be a swear? Go read a book, if you can. The hood-rats back home have become more vulgar in their insults. They don't like being called, "Third world, country babies." or illiterate. Or socially retarded." I think it's hilarious. It's a matter of time before I get my ass kicked. But I think I have leg strength since I walk all the time. What angers me is that my effeminate, deadbeat father isn't fazed about being called poor in front of the entire neighborhood. The hood-rats to our right live multiple families to a house. That's how these people afford decent cars and decent houses. It's mind boggling how socially retarded, illiterate hod-rats could be so successful. It has to be a bilingual thing. While I was job hunting, I came a cross a cashier/clerk for adult videos. I could/would do that but they want a Spanish speaker. Bilingual. I will not. It's my protest. Anyway, life has become unbearable. I feel like I am a hamster on a wheel. I give up. More reason for me to sit on the couch and rot. The New World Order is fast approaching, right?
Did I me mention that I left home at five in the morning to walk in the rain to make that appointment? I haven't slept in how many hours..... Wow, this place died. The ghetto people left. Now I am about to leave because I didn't purchase anything and I'm using their wifi. It's freezing. I should have just stayed home. | | |
| It has been long, too long since I last blogged and I need some way to vent. I also apologize for bad grammar;I am on one of those smartphones. The last few months have been dramatic. Since my brother escaped this prison, my deadbeat father is struggling financially. And because he is a loud, ghetto hood-rat, he gives the illiterate hood-rats material to use when they harass us. But that is why I am enrolled in school. I hear the post office is hiring so I plan to reprise my role as "Casual Clerk." But I know that won't pan out. I am getting called poor because I ride the bus. Seriously, you live in hood-rat infested town of Whittier and in back of me. You think you're sophisticated because you keep your ten year old Mercedes clean. In neighborhoods like this; the houses never match the
cars and vice versa. Nice house, average car. These people are dirty with dead rabbits that end up in our yard. They also live in back of us and can't say s. I taunt them and say, "Stop PUSSYfooting." They have become more crude. I am more agoraphobic than ever due to shamed and humiliation. I know they want to humiliate me until I am completely silent. They don't know the mentality of a victim of abuse; which they are probably aware. One of them called me weird. So I mocked her. I like to mock their little hood-rat neighbors by calling them "illiterate." They went back into their house. I wish I had self hcontrol. I wish I seized the opportunity to move away when I was employed. But my Dad shockingly unemployed then needed my help. I wish I left. All he has done was cause pain and humiliation. I am tired but I'm too spoiled. Learning of Whitney Houston's death promoted me to look the occult. They may have been responsible for Amy Winehouse's death.....? I have a headache. My Dad is suppose to take me to inquire and apply for a job tomorrow, but I too scared to sleep. Interesting things have happened to me; a starving artist sang to me on a train. He looked like Kele from Bloc Party. Now pretend you have an accent and this could work. I naively have been riding the train trying to look for jobs. Traveling to downtown and back via train. Ghetto people can be mighty frightening. Someone was almost beat up. Public transportation is always going to be ghetto. TransPOORtation. Yup. This is how I learned of Whitney's death. Anyway, I am tired and I have a long day of studying and job hunting. But I'm a scared. I also feel like these hood-rats are stalking me. And by spoiled, I meant spooked. I hate this phone. My mp3 player broke. I am reduced to CDs. | | |
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I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!
I was walking to school and listening to my CD Walkman with FM capabilities; listening to the Kevin & Bean Show but Kevin & Bean were on vacation. I just heard Ralph and some other guy I later learned to be Doc talking in a serious and to my naive fourteen year old mind, boring tone. Unaware of what was going on, I switched stations. I wish I didn’t. My Algebra teacher later told the class what happened. | | |
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Yesterday was my 25th birthday. I didn't celebrate, but I did receive several "Happy Birthdays" via Facebook from my family; my Mom's side. *Ahem,* she owes me fifteen years of presents but that won't change my resentment towards her. The day was normal according to my life and constant feuding with my hood-rat neighbors. Usually, they tone it down and don't bother me as much. But it's like they knew it was my birthday. They are stalkers, after all. I try to keep the peace. I have this "I don't like you and you don't like me so let's ignore each other" mentality. Hood-rats are socially retarded and one incident can became a lifetime of harassment. But everyone around me hates me but this welfare whore despises me. All this drama because we complain that her kids are obnoxious. I hate defensive parents. Her kids are disgusting, running around on the dirty floor sans shoes. I dub them, "Welfare babies." The hood-rat took offense which is why she attacked me but I have preparing myself for my retaliation but that's so childish and makes me look as ignorant as them. I felt that I have been doing my part with ignoring them and no responding to them but they get to harass me? Ten years ago, we lived in orange county and never had problems with anyone. But it isn't just this welfare whore, the hood-rats all around here have that mentality. I am baffled as to why they drive decent cars and have decent house when they're so stupid? How can people so stupid be so successful? My theory is that it has to do with labor or being bilingual. I have been going to school. I hope in a couple weeks, I can resume my job hunt and get the "F" out of here. If it's anything to celebrate, I received an ipad 2 and a decent camera. It doesn't make me happy because I would rather get a new home. Maybe this time next year, it'll be a different story. | | |
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