Interests:I am old school in music, clothes, even make up and I don't care what ya think. Because you don't have the courage to be yourself so you pick on someone else. A drive and ambition for creatures who can't speak of the injustice inflicted upon them.Finding beauty in ugly..............Politics are a topic when conversing with me.Legal Residents are my friends.And I constantly BORROW lyrics from artists to prove a point, but everyone on Xanga is a kid, so you wouldn't know what I was talking about anyway. Expertise:What am I good at? Occupation:Student
I have been diagnosed bipolar. "They" are thinking about setting up a "SSI" account for me. In the last six months, I have been committed twice and both times were based on lies! It was the normal routine with my pretend father and I arguing. When I say something he can't handle, he resorts to violence. But this time he has me committed. Not once, but twice. He wouldn't even pick me up the second time. My Grandmother has taken me in and has set a curfew. " Home before dark." But that's when the fun starts. The arresting officers never listen to my side of the story. My flaming father dangles some pills and I'm off to be arrested in front of my hood-rat neighbors. Now the hood-rats know everything. They're even harassing me at my Grandmother's house. I hate them. I have been practicing my kicks and punches. I don't have upper body strength, but I think I could do a good kick since I walk so much. But the hood-rats follow me everywhere. But they're phantom harassers; I hear them but they disappear too fast. I am starting to get the sense they are attracted to me. They say mean things, but their actions say otherwise. I am confined to my grandma's room. I have to watch terrible television to drown out their obnoxious behavior. Her kids don't make the situation any better. They have a bipolar attitude towards me. Her son said hi to me. He then insulted me the next day. I hate my life. These hood-rats are ruining my life. I think the hood-rats from Whittier have teamed up with the hood-rats from Bellflower to follow me. I hear their insults everyday and everything night leading the conclusion that they don't have jobs. They're so hideous. They look like those starving children from those "Feed the children commercial." They're uncivilized savages. They are like modern day caveman. I know it's wrong to hate people, but I can't help it. Stuck at her house stuck watching mindless television. I have been intrigued by Colorado Mass Murderer, James Holmes. I later learn that I am suffering from"Hybristophilia." I also thought Jeff Dahmer was cute. No, I don't condone their crimes. But I feel like I can relate. I am an outcast, reject, and loser. I have barely any friends and I can't accept what I see in the mirror. I don't like what I see in the mirror. Or people following me everywhere. I even think they're harassing me at my friend's house. A man I befriended from the hospital. I can't a job. While these illiterate, social retards have everything. Life isn't for me.
I signed up for this modeling agency, not because I think I'm pretty, but because I think I am somewhat interesting looking. But my Dad had his man period again and kicked me out. I had to use some of my money to call my Grandmother. I could have had enough bus fare money to make it in time for evaluation. But no. I had to stretch three dollars for three buses. But some ugly, fat, short, wobbly, hood-rat of a police office busted me for riding the train w/out paying. Now, her cool, black sidekick allowed people to go purchase tickets if they didn't have them. But this bitch writes me up for $75. I thought it would be three hundred like the caveat read, but ok. I understand, they need to make their money. I missed my appointment because I didn't have enough money for bus fare. I don't have any money to eat. I'm starving right now sitting in McDonalds while these ghetto people argue about money and women. It might escalate to a violent situation. I was ejected off a train because the train was involved in some kind of accident. I don't know how I am going to get home. I am still not sure what happened. And if I do make it back to the bus station, I have to prepare myself for a two-four hour walk because I don't have money to get home. I hate my life. I had to drop out of college because I can't afford the tuition and I can't find a job. I lack the required cellphone for communication. My Dad could make my life easier if he wasn't such an effeminate prick. Last Tuesday, he threatened to cut my hair off. And he actually cut a junk from the top, but it's unnoticeable. Lucky me. But, I did file a police report and it is on file. I haven't told him the good news. I told my Grandmother what he has been doing and she instantly denied it. He has sociopath tendencies. But I think she is in Denail about her own kids. Her daughter has had numerous partners and her son has a speech impediment. Now, I did shed tears because I missed my appointment. Now, I can't do that and I can't go to college. What can I do? I feel like I have no purpose in life. I feel like I will never amount to anything. I feel like I keep making an effort and nothing. Maybe I should just stop trying. I am never going to escape this man. I am never going to get away from this dump house. I feel like I am cursed. I wish my father wasn't my father. He's such a deadbeat. All he talks about how he tows luxury cars. I tell him: Wouldn't you rather own one of those cars instead of towing them? "Aren't you tired of working deadend jobs?" God, Long Beach is ghetto. Do you have to be so loud and does every other word have to be a swear? Go read a book, if you can. The hood-rats back home have become more vulgar in their insults. They don't like being called, "Third world, country babies." or illiterate. Or socially retarded." I think it's hilarious. It's a matter of time before I get my ass kicked. But I think I have leg strength since I walk all the time. What angers me is that my effeminate, deadbeat father isn't fazed about being called poor in front of the entire neighborhood. The hood-rats to our right live multiple families to a house. That's how these people afford decent cars and decent houses. It's mind boggling how socially retarded, illiterate hod-rats could be so successful. It has to be a bilingual thing. While I was job hunting, I came a cross a cashier/clerk for adult videos. I could/would do that but they want a Spanish speaker. Bilingual. I will not. It's my protest. Anyway, life has become unbearable. I feel like I am a hamster on a wheel. I give up. More reason for me to sit on the couch and rot. The New World Order is fast approaching, right?
Did I me mention that I left home at five in the morning to walk in the rain to make that appointment? I haven't slept in how many hours..... Wow, this place died. The ghetto people left. Now I am about to leave because I didn't purchase anything and I'm using their wifi. It's freezing. I should have just stayed home.